I just called my husband at work, and I was on hold waiting for him to get to the phone a LONG time. After about 5 minutes, just when I was about to hang up, my phone beeped, alerting me to a new text message. It was from my husband and read:

“In the potty.”

Isn’t technology grand? I hung up the call and quickly texted back a reply that read, “Call me when you’re done”, and he did. Before the texting age, I would have grown irritated with my time on hold and assumed he was just being slow in getting to the phone. Thanks to technology, I can know exactly what the delay is and save my attitude for another occasion.

Have you ever seen recut previews on YouTube? I’ve seen one previously where a preview for Mary Poppins was edited to make it look like a horror film. The people who create these are so talented. This one for The Shining is no exception, taking one of the creepiest films ever and making it appear like a romantic comedy:

If you’ve seen The Shining, you can pick out scenes that were intensely creepy in the movie…and they just look like lighthearted fun in the clip.

Have you been following the Jesus (Hay-soos) storyline in Dilbert? I’m a big Dilbert fan, and I read the blog that Scott Adams writes every week. It cracks me up to hear about people getting fired because they posted Dilbert comics at work. Uhh…I should clarify, it’s not funny that people got fired, but it’s funny if their management is that paranoid. The Hay-soos storyline has been a good one - I enjoyed seeing Wally with hair. Not everyone liked it though, and Scott Adams actually got hate mail about it.

People are nuts.

I came across Server In The House (FYI, it’s a PDF file) a few weeks ago and almost fell out of my chair laughing. My husband (non geek) read it and said, “Huh? I don’t get it.”

It looks like this is something Microsoft put out according to the URL in the book - I wasn’t aware that they could be this funny:

When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, the daddy wants to give the mommy a special gift.

If you’re a geek, you’ll enjoy this children’s book about having a server in the house, which is written in the style of “Heather Has Two Mommies” and other classic children’s literature. It reminds me of a book I had as a kid about where babies come from.

I may be a geek, but I have my limits.

I can’t say the same for Jonathan Oxer of Australia. Oxer had a teeny weeny computer chip embedded in his arm, much like women have Norplant (birth control) embedded in their arms. The birth control makes sense to me - the chip however, does not.

Oh sure, it DOES stuff. With the chip, Jonathan can scan himself in at his front door and unlock it. I can do that too, with a magical invention called a key. No surgery required! Jonathan may be the bigger geek, but I’m smarter!

I’m in a mixed marriage.

My husband is a conservative Republican, right down to the core. He bleeds red, white, and blue. Ronald Regan is his hero. He votes Republican in each and every election. Me? I’m a pinko commie liberal bastard…of course, he doesn’t call me that. But I am a bleeding heart liberal, against the death penalty, and I voted for Bill Clinton. (And if he ran again, I’d vote for him again!)

Each election year we joke to each other that we shouldn’t even bother voting, since our votes cancel each other out, but we still vote. We tease each other from time to time about our views and our elected leaders, but it’s all out of love, baby. It’s the only way to make things work. I send him jokes poking fun at liberals, and he sends me jokes poking fun at liberals. (Hey, whataminute!) When I came across the formykountry blog, and saw this post outlining the so-called Conservative 10 Commandments, I knew I’d have to send it on to my own darling conservative. All in good fun, of course!

Among my favorites on this list was this gem:

Conservatives want to melt the polar ice caps and watch California fall into the Ocean.

Ha! The rest of the list is just as good, outlining a plan for a gun toting, Wal-Mart shopping, heterosexual, no Ozone layer version of the good old U.S.A. Toby Keith would approve!

I don’t agree with the opinions and viewpoints expressed in each and every post, given my liberal leanings, but the author makes great points and has a great deal of passion for his beliefs. And that’s easy to enjoy and respect!

I watch Futurama almost every night on Adult Swim. I wasn’t a huge fan of it when the show was on the air, but it’s grown on me in the years since then. I’m to the point now where I’ve seen almost every episode, and I even stopped DVRing it. That’s why I’m so excited about the release of a new, never seen before, full length movie featuring the cast of Futurama! Bender’s Big Score will eventually be broken down into episodes and shown on TV, but if you can’t wait, it’s available in stores now.

The movie features alien telemarketers, email viruses (Bender gives out his email address!), and cameos by Coolio and Al Gore. Fans of the show will be delighted by all of the extra features as well, including commentary by Matt Groening, Ken Keeler, and David X. Cohen. How about an episode of Everybody Loves Hypnotoad, as well as deleted scenes?

I’m in love.

You have to wonder what stupid kids like this did before the internet. Before, their acts of complete stupidity were limited to an audience of a few friends and classmates, but now, with the world wide web, we can all point and laugh. (I’m just happy none of my kids have tried something like this yet!)

Kid Sticks Face In Fire Ant Hole - Watch more free videos

I came across this faux motivational poster tonight that states:

Birth Control - Because if you arn’t careful, one of these could be yours.

And yes, that typo is on the original image. People…I can’t say it enough. When you’re insulting others, it’s SO important to spell check. If you don’t, we laugh less at the silly inbred children in the photo, and more at YOU for flaunting your so-called superiority online.

Leave it to a bunch of geeks to put a new twist on a protest sign by writing </war> on it. Leave it to ANOTHER bunch of geeks to debate the meaning of said sign in the comments of the blogger who originally shared the sign. I’m of the school of thought that someone already opened war with the <war> tag somewhere, and this guy wants to end war with his closing tag. How do you interpret the sign?

I came across this absolutely hilarious site this morning that asks, “What if Google had to design their website FOR Google?” Meaning, what if the Google guys had to work as hard as the rest of us poor schmucks on SEO and pagerank? I never thought about it before, but Google’s site, if it wasn’t created by Google, would be a PR 1 and one of the least visited sites on the net, due to the fact that it doesn’t follow any of the Google rules the rest of us have to follow.

You’ve probably heard of ping pong. A table, little paddles, small white ball?

How about beer pong? Leave it to a bunch of geeks to turn a innocent game into a drinking game! In beer pong, players try to throw a ping pong ball across a table, with the goal being to land the ball into a cup of beer. When you pop the ball into a cup of beer, the defending team has to drink up, and the winner is…well, not as drunk as the loser. You can now buy beer pong tables online! I don’t think we’ve got the room for a beer pong table in our house, but I’m confident that I’d be better at this game then I am at quarters! This site has 3 different kinds of tables, as well as t-shirts to display your beer pong pride.

I’m not a big enough geek to want to wear an animated Wi-Fi t-shirt, but I have to admit, it’s pretty clever! The shirt has a battery pack (which detaches for easy washing) which displays the current Wi-Fi signal strength around you…either 802.11b or 802.11g. How cool would it be to show up at BlogExpo wearing this? And women can be sure that while wearing this, geeky guys aren’t admiring their assets…they’re checking out the Wi-Fi signal strength!

Earlier this month, I posted a clip of the Family Guy premiere that was shown at ComicCon. If you didn’t see it, you can watch it here - it’s a Star Wars themed episode, and it will be on Fox this Sunday at 9pm eastern. Set your DVR’s, your VCR’s (if you’re living in the stone age) or just make sure you’re in front of the TV at 9pm. It’s gonna be good!

I came across these funny fake corporate signs and posters tonight on Stumble Upon. I am SO tempted to print these out and put a few up around work, just to see who happens to be paying attention. Some are more obvious than others, like the one that says employees are allowed 2 trips to the bathroom per day, and additional trips must be approved by management. Others, like the one I’m showing here, would probably confuse a few people in my office. I’m thinking about putting the one that says “Maintain silence at all times” to deter my coworkers from having LOUD conversations while standing feet away from my desk. Hmm…looks like the person who made these didn’t use a spell checker. It says “mantain”. HA!

I set my Stumble Upon search to “Star Wars” last night and I’ve come across the most hilarious stuff! This parody of Stormtroopers doing an episode of COPS is among the best things I found. I really want to know how they got so many Stormtrooper costumes, as well as a Boba Fett costume, where they found someone short enough to act out the role of the Jawas (a child? little person?), and a guy who looked like Uncle Owen.

Watch the “domestic dispute” bit with Aunt Beru & Uncle Owen - freaking HILARIOUS. You’ll find out what REALLY happened to those two - it’s not exactly as it was portrayed in A New Hope.

I’m frequently asked by people - friends, family, strangers on the street - for computer help. Cause sitting her surfing the internet on my laptop all day makes me a genius - right? There are certain things I can do online. I know my way around certain software products. I can build you a simple website. I can install a blog, and find you a hosting company. You want to know how to make money online? I can hook you up.

There are plenty of things I don’t know. I’ll still try to help you, but often, I can’t. This open letter to anyone asking me for computer help really hit home with me, especially #9!

Being the mother of an 8 year old boy, I know a thing or two about Legos. Mostly, I know how much those damned things hurt when you step on one! I also know exactly how long it takes to build the Millennium Falcon out of Legos - too long. I didn’t know there was Lego jewelry though. Might I expect my son to someday a girlfriend of his this charming bauble? I can see the Lego geeks lining up now…

(If rings aren’t your thing, how about a Lego sofa?)

I’ve posted about an annoying coworker before, but a lot of people are a lot worse off than I am. After reading about the awful things people have to put up with on AnnoyingCoworker.com, I’m happy that the worst thing I have to deal with is a loud radio. I’m laughing out loud at some of the experiences here, from someone cooking a disgusting fish stew each week for their lunch, to a thief stealing food out of the office fridge, and someone else who hacks phlegm nonstop all day.

If you’ve got a story to share, you can submit it at the site and people will vote on who has it the worst!

I found 4 neat games today, all centered around the new release of the Reno 911! Miami The Movie DVD. I love the show, and love the movie. If you’ve never watched either, you need to run out right now and buy the Reno 911! Miami The Movie DVD. Don’t forget to head to their website and play all of the extra games too.

I went there and decided to play Calling All Units - I think it’s the closest I’ll come to ever being a real cop, provided the Reno 911 crew counts as “real”. I loved the location of the first crime - on the corner of “Wett” and “Panty”. HA! I ate plenty of donuts and caused 121,000 in damage to the city, but only earned $6900. Oh, and a $3000 bustin’ bonus. Go me!

Don’t forget - the new DVD for Reno 911! Miami is unrated. Follow the crew from Reno to Miami and watch them wreck Miami over Spring Break. Deputy Raineesha Williams in a bathing suit, and Lt. Dangle in short shorts. Need I say more? You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you may wet your pants. It’s all good!